In addition to launching a business and taking care of current clients, Suzee and I are momming hard right now too. Last week, she talked about her beliefs around her daughter's last summer break and how she's handling it.

I've been mentally absent from a lot these past three weeks because I was in the throws of back-to-back graduations for my two daughters (one for 8th grade and one for high school). It's the end of a significant time period and experience in our lives. Leaving communities that have been integral in day-to-day life and beginning with new ones. It's exciting, nerve-wracking, sad and joy-filled (along with some other feelings!) all at once.

All throughout this last year, I have been really cognizant of "lasts" and "beautiful goodbyes". You may not operate this way, and admittedly I can get a bit nutty about this topic ... I remember my mom saying I was this way my senior year of high school: the last this, the last that. I know it can get to be A LOT - my mom jokes about it. I can't help it, I'm a big closure person!

I'm a bit of a control-freak, and so it makes sense that I would like CLOSURE, which is essentially what a beautiful goodbye is all about. I've read some articles about how wanting closure can be about not wanting to deal with hard or uncomfortable emotions. And I get that and see that in myself. The end of something (a job, a relationship, a time at a school, a life) can be joyous and it can be sad, it can be easy and it can be hard.

I read the following in an article that I found:

"The Benefits of Closure

Closure can be important because it facilitates emotional healing and gives individuals a chance to move forward. It may be hard for someone to heal from a difficult event or period in their life if there are constant reminders or lingering questions. Closure often involves gaining a better understanding of what happened and why. Once someone has a narrative that makes sense, they are more likely to accept the situation and begin to let go of lingering emotional pain. This can be empowering, as individuals begin to focus on their own growth and reclaim their personal power.

Closure also enables the processing of emotions, helping a person better understand what they are feeling. When something ends—whether a relationship, a job, or a chapter of life—it can leave behind a mix of emotions: sadness, anger, confusion, relief, guilt. Without closure, those emotions can become tangled, making it hard to understand what you’re truly feeling. With closure, you are able to sift through surface emotions and process the event on a deeper level. You may realize that your anger was masking hurt, or your grief was tied to unmet expectations. Closure may not eliminate the pain entirely, but it can help untangle it. It also helps you regain control of the narrative, allowing you to be the author of your own story and release aspects that no longer serve you."

I want to acknowledge that some people may never get closure in a situation where they desperately want it, which can be painful and upsetting. And, there are tools that can offer some relief or assistance in those cases. This newsletter does not attempt to resolve that, but we may revisit how we help clients with that in a future article.

What I would like to focus on is how we might be able to take on closure while we are in the middle of closing. I have a modified exercise that I use with clients based on my last/beautiful goodbye obsession which some have found to be helpful, so I offer it to you now if you or a client needs it in the future. I applied this exercise to my time of closing out both graduations this month.

The last sentence of the quote above hits on the exercise - I ask myself (and clients in a situation of closure): how do I want to look back on this time once it is done...once the page has turned? Can I identify what would be most important to happen or feel? Am I worrying about any regrets (or, even broader, anything at all)?

For example, I recently had a client that decided to leave a company where she worked for 18 years. Her feelings about leaving were complicated. She knew it was time to go, but she was sad about leaving. She was also not enjoying her time there anymore which was upsetting given the history. And, of course, there were characters involved that played into everything going on. Over the course of almost a year, we planned her exit, her beautiful goodbye. We talked about how she wanted to feel leaving, how she wanted to leave her team and her projects, and how she wanted to speak up to her bosses to leave things better for those she was no longer going to lead and serve. We dealt with the fears: like, who was she scared would be mad at her or what if she regretted leaving? Through actions and conversations, she left with her head held high and a sense of closure on that chapter of her career (and her company doing all they could to get her to stay and an open door to come back, I might add). This took work, planning and thoughtful presence.

I did something similar at the beginning of this May-cember (I don't love that term but it feels accurate). Something in me knew that I wanted to be present for the precious moments, and to support my family in experiencing their celebration of the ends to the fullest. With that in mind, I built my plan around my state of mind, my time off, logistics, etc. It wasn't all *perfect* because things rarely are (and what does that mean anyway??), but I know I will look back on this time with joy, sadness, and pride.

So how about you?

Do you have something closing? Or a situation or relationship where it would be helpful to orchestrate a beautiful goodbye?

Take a moment to get clear on how you think you'd like to look back on it (think 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Begin with the End in Mind), and create your plan from there. It can be a long beautiful goodbye.