I came across a LinkedIn Post by Craig Blitz that took me to a Substack Article written by him about something from the New York Times. And, I'm not going to lie that I cringed a bit. (Yes, this is a different feeling from the flinch!) Every time I come across an opinion about the coaching industry, and especially if that opinion is not a glowing review and love affair with coaching, I'm transported back to about fifteen years ago when I was training to be a coach. (Spoiler: the NYTimes articles is not particularly glowing of coaching, but I love Blitz's article's deep dive and defense.)

I was called out back then because, when someone in my everyday life asked me what I did for a living, I purposefully left out the coaching part. Don't get me wrong, I loved what I did (and still do!). It's just that I was 100% not sure of telling people that I did it. I assumed that most people would think it was hokey, woo-woo, BS, or most definitely that I was a mess and who was I to life coach anyone. I got that same cringe feeling when I was exploring the articles mentioned above.

So, I'm going public here outing the cringe and reminding us all why helping professionals are wonderful - and how much I loved (and love) all of my helpers/coaches.

Hate to break it to you, most of us are coaches in some area of our lives

This is just my opinion, but I think it's the right one (ha)! What I mean by this is we are all, at some point, with some person in our life, witnessing change or failure at change, providing support and holding space - maybe one of those at a time, and maybe all of those at once. This is true of the people in my life and circle...and I'm not always the one in the "coach" seat.

The need for coaching skills is important especially if you have a job (or a family) where you are responsible for outcomes and you aren't the only one with the inputs for those outcomes. This is why SEAR is open to everyone - more on that later.

How to un-cringe

Way back then, my coaches made me stop omitting that I was training to be/was a coach. Long story short was that people rarely cared about the work I was doing as a lawyer and mostly wanted to hear about what I was doing in coaching - go figure!

So here is my process today for un-cringing. If you don't need this, great. Instead, please read these points as a reminder of how great you are, even if you don't go by the moniker of "coach".

• I remember how my coach (and at another time my therapist) helped me see things that I was unable (or unwilling) to see. This in turn changed the trajectory of my life - not being dramatic. I made a career change and that set off a ripple of changes impacting who I am today. Anytime you challenge someone (lovingly), it has the opportunity to have a major impact. Even if the degree of change is small, that can lead to a totally different destination.
• I needed someone to tell me the hard stuff. And then get me out of feeling bad about it.
• I remember how much the people around me benefitted from me being in coaching. Maybe those people knew and maybe they didn't. My husband, kids, parents, coworkers, friends. Having someone invested in me, my happiness and my success created that. They still reap the benefits.
• I believe we change the world by changing on an individual level. It's not the only way to change the world, but it's an important step that we have control over. Helping professionals can create change on that individual level. Sometimes with just offering a listening ear and nothing more. No method and no to do list needed. Being seen and heard can bring about so much peace.
  In discussing the NYTimes article, Craig Blitz writes:

"The article's own expert says what works better than self-flagellation is “feeling seen and valued without being shielded from discomfort, and being in the presence of people and settings that draw out curiosity and awe.” ... That’s a description of what good coaching does....a good coaching relationship provides: someone who holds the space between who you are and who you’re becoming, without forcing the conversion."

Being better, together

So, back to SEAR, we created this venture to serve as a reminder of (y)our greatness. Here we want to come together in curiosity and support, to learn from each other and discuss things that are working, to hold practice holding space and being the recipient of space being held, and to know when to get help and refer out when appropriate to do so. But don't take my word for it: check out this article from Forbes: 20 Reasons Why Coaches Benefit from Meeting with Other Coaches. Come be a part of our ripple!